The other day after my therapy session, my MFR therapist sat me down and informed me that I would need additional help. Not just her. Not just my chiropractor. Now I would need someone who specializes in movement and retraining the body how to activate the proper muscles for daily motions and tasks.
This was hard. So damn hard to hear. I have been fighting this injury, fighting like hell for over 4 years, and to hear that now I need another type of doctor to assist in this… it was crushing.
She had me lie down and run through some motions which made it more difficult for me to activate the wrong muscle groups. This allowed her to see which muscle groups were mainly forcing my body to move and the level of difficulty to move.
A few of the things she and my chiropractor are doing is not holding. This is because the wrong muscles are activating which forces any minor shifts made by my doctors back to the way they have been since the injury. I have grown so accustomed to overcompensating that I don’t even realize something is wrong.
There are no words to describe the level of exhaustion I feel on a daily basis. I can rarely make it through a work day without pain. I can barely make it through a few hours without feeling fatigued. My life trajectory has fallen off course from everything I have ever wanted and planned for myself.
I get it. Life happens. Things fall apart so better things can fall into place.
I’m still waiting for those “better” things.
I am trying to focus on the fact that we are finding out what are the true hangups in my healing process – what parts are holding me back, how, and why. I am thrilled that there is actual progress being made. The struggle is the exhaustion from all of this while trying to maintain a full time job and working hard to get out enough with Ferro and give him the love and attention he deserves. I hate how there are 2 things – literally 2 things on my list at this point that are all I want to be able to accomplish with ease. Those 2 things should be straight forward, simple, and manageable.
At this point, however, nothing feels manageable anymore.
I am trying to figure out next steps in my life. What I need to do to make time for those 2 things, plus heal without becoming drained of energy. If anyone has suggestions and tips of things that have helped them, drop them in the comments.