Staying Positive Through Strain

Good morning. I apologize for not keeping up with my regular posting schedule, but this weekend brought pain akin to the sharp paralysis of the early months of my injury.

My Feldenkrais class was Friday. During this session, we focused on reactivating the neck muscles and reopening lines of communication between my nervous system and neck. The class was challenging and frustrating. Making a connection between my mind and body took time, but small spasms of muscular reaction began.

When Saturday rolled around, there was a sharp and tense pain forming from my neck and down into the middle of my back. I did minor stretches to try to ease the tension, but the sensation of a spike lodged in my spine did not fade.

Sunday was a disaster. The sharp and paralyzing sense of the spike in my spine throbbed and expanded to my back, neck, and shoulder. It worsened as the day went on. I cried out every time I tried to move as my body fought against it. I could not get comfortable no matter which position or furniture I tried.

Yesterday, I went into the therapy office for a session. My therapist said that since this was an extreme pain like that of the initial pain of the injury that this was progress. My body was no longer compensating and avoiding the use of certain muscles.

The correct muscles are screaming again, and now we can listen.

She believes this is a breakthrough. We are narrowing in on points of trauma that have caused my body so much agony over the last 4 years.

Staying Positive

This is good news. Great news, really. The pain is still here, but it is muted. It is bearable. I am working with that spike in my spine, but the area is numbed. I can manage with this for now. Luckily, I will be back with my therapist Thursday morning to work through this further and try to get to the root of the injury and the agony. It will take time and numerous visits – probably more frequent than we have done, but I will take it.

Even with this pain, I am excited that we are finding the areas that have caused the most trauma to the rest of my body. One step at a time. I am thankful for progress every day – no matter how brutal it may be to make it through to the end. I am determined to reach an end.




  • Louise DeWerd

    Just keep swimming! You got this. I will be praying that alignment, muscle repair, strengthening, and pain relief happen ASAP! Love you!

    • Madalyn Beck

      Thank you so much! I hope we are nearing the point where I can exercise again to build up muscle strength again. Love you!

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